"Right, right, make me glad I don't work for the place," Simon jokes. "And no, it wasn't all that great at the time. Part of me's still shocked that I got out of there in one piece. If it hadn't been for the flamethrower shop. . ."

"Oh." Okay, now there's a distinct sense of awkwardness in the room. "Uh. . .what's the place on the map farthest from Tahiti then?"