The Real April Fool's Joke Would Be Not Having A Party

[flightattendantguy]

Spring/Early Summer birthday season is beginning in the Inkwell! And as usual we have our own flight attendant guy to help start the festivities going. The party planners nearly went for a zombie theme just because, but eventually that was decided as possibly being a bit mean to the birthday boy, and instead a plane theme was chosen, with various skylines drawn on the windows and the bar made up to look like a cockpit. (And Bonejangles as the pilot, because Simon LIKES him, and they need to have a bit of fun.) There's snacks and music, so come on down!

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[flightattendantguy]

"Whereas Vic is into certain things -- it's just that one of her 'things' is certain kinds of clothes," Lucy jokes.

"Hey, forgive me for liking the way a good suit looks on a guy!" Vic defends herself. "There's really just something about vests." She gives Twelve a playfully smarmy grin.

"Watch out, Lisa will probably get you for that," Simon says, then looks over at Coulson. "You actually wanted to -- well, okay, you're part of S.H.I.E.L.D. and one of the masterminds behind the Avengers. I guess all this weirdness doesn't phase you." He fidgets a moment as AL talks about unknowns. "Yeah. . .like, uh, how alive he was? We're familiar with the movie, but Vic doesn't watch the TV show."

"No time, too many other things to watch," Vic says, shaking her head.

[alienlisa]

AL chuckles. "I'll let you off this time," she says jokingly.

"Weird is just part of the job," says Coulson.

AL points a "you got it" finger at Simon. "Exactly." Glancing at Coulson, she says, "Up to you."

He nods. "SHIELD led me to believe I was dead for only eight seconds and had my recovery in Tahiti." He waits a beat, then continues, "I was dead for days. They performed nine operations and used a drug called 'GH-325' that somehow instantly repaired all the internal - because I still have the scar from the scepter - damage but it caused me to be in a lot of pain." He takes a breath and then says, "I wanted to die, I hurt so badly. So the doctors...altered my memories, making me think I went to Tahiti, because I'd lost my will to live." He straightens. "I have it back, now. My team. Lisa. I definitely have something to live for."

AL goes to him and takes his hand. "Yeah. My problem was...well, I was definitely sure he was human since I could still read his mind. If he were an android or something, I wouldn't be able to." She points to Data as an example. "I knew he had a thing for me, and I knew that he knew that I felt the same way, and I knew he wanted a link, but I just...wanted a few answers before something happened that would change the way I felt about him. I didn't want to go through that again." She sighs. "Though if I'd just agreed the first time he asked me, then maybe we would've found him sooner before Centipede - that's the Big Bad in the show - tortured the real memories out of him."

He puts his arm around her. "Well, what's done is done. I'm just glad you're here now."

She smiles. "Thanks." She turns to everyone else. "And, before you ask, the alter ego hasn't really figured out how we first met yet so I couldn't tell you. Nor, really, how I found out he was alive. Just that I knew, so I was around, and every so often he'd think of me strongly enough that I'd hear and pop in for a visit."

[flightattendantguy]

"Thanks," Vic says, sticking her tongue out.

The other muses wince to varying degrees as Phil tells his story. "That's -- ouch. That's rough," Simon says, for lack of anything better to say.

"That sounds utterly horrible," is Forgotten's view of the situation. "Normally I hate anything that involves changing or deleting memories, but. . .I don't know if anyone would really want to remember that. I'm sorry for you."

"At least you've got someone who really loves you by your side after all that crap," Simon adds. He chuckles at Lisa's addition. "I'm sure she'll figure something out."

"I suggest using his trading cards as a jump-off point," Vic jokes. "Incidentally, Phil, just how much did you want to kill Nick Fury when you discovered he'd splashed blood -- real or fake -- on them?"

[alienlisa]

"Worse, the drug came from the corpse of an alien," Coulson says. "We don't know what kind or from where. It's a terrible thing they did, yes..."

"But we're going to have to wait," AL adds. "There's six episodes left in the season, so hopefully we'll have some answers." A dark look crosses her face. "Unfortunately, his cellist ex-girlfriend - the one who thinks he's dead...she's mentioned in The Avengers - is going to be in at least one episode." Beat. "The alter ego linked us before knowing that, so...well, let's just say it won't be the first time a canon girlfriend's been retconned. I just hope it's not more than one episode and she doesn't complicate things."

Coulson pretends he didn't hear her and instead answers V with a chuckle. "I was pretty upset, yes." He smiles. "Lisa got me a new set."

"From the same era," she adds, "so they remain vintage."

[flightattendantguy]

There's a general wrinkling of noses at that. "S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't always the nicest place to work, is it?" Marty says.

"I know I sure as hell wouldn't want to be injected with alien corpse drug," is Simon's opinion. "And I wouldn't hold your breath too much on that 'answers' business, Lisa. Especially if it's already been confirmed for Season 2." He smirks a little at her comments about the cellist ex-girlfriend. "You don't know yet that she's still in love with him. Wait until you actually see the episode to yell 'retcon.' Hell, maybe the episode will prove they're fully incompatible or something like that."

"Or that she's an alien spy," Vic adds. "Show seems weird enough for that." She grins at Coulson. "Glad to hear it. I know those cards must have meant a lot to you. I always imagined you going after Fury with something heavy when you found out about that trick."

[alienlisa]

"Yeah, I'll admit that the system I had so much faith in isn't so great after all..." Coulson rightly doesn't look too happy about this fact. "But at least you get to meet interesting people?"

"Actually," says AL, "they haven't confirmed the second season yet." She smiles at V's theory. "That'd be nice..."

Coulson, again, pretends not to hear her. "One doesn't usually go after the Director of SHIELD with 'something heavy'. Plus, don't forget, as far as I was concerned I'd died and spent my recovery in Tahiti. My cards hadn't been on my mind at the time."

[flightattendantguy]

"And not-traditionally-people," Simon says with a smirk. "Just be grateful you've yet to take on a whole town of zombies all by your lonesome."

"Ah -- well, fingers crossed then!" Vic says, doing just that.

"I know, I know, it's just the image is kind of funny," Vic giggles. "They should really send you to Tahiti at some point, if they haven't already. I think they owe you there."

"I'm with her -- if you get paid vacation, ask around for packages to Tahiti," Simon agrees, Lucy adding her nod in the background.

[alienlisa]

"No. Just super-soldier wannabes, psychokinetics, alien viruses, Asgardian artifacts..." Coulson smiles. "Zombies, huh? Sounds interesting, though. Although, I'm sure it wasn't for you."

His smile turns forced when they mention Tahiti. "I'd rather not, actually. The real memories surfacing through the false ones kind of...make me never want to go near the place. Maybe one day, but not anytime soon."

[flightattendantguy]

"Right, right, make me glad I don't work for the place," Simon jokes. "And no, it wasn't all that great at the time. Part of me's still shocked that I got out of there in one piece. If it hadn't been for the flamethrower shop. . ."

"Oh." Okay, now there's a distinct sense of awkwardness in the room. "Uh. . .what's the place on the map farthest from Tahiti then?"

[alienlisa]

Coulson grins at the mention of flamethrowers and AL rolls her eyes. "He's got a car that's equipped with flamethrowers and the world's first GPS."

"Lola's not just a 'car', Lisa," he says. "She's a 1962 Chevy Corvette with modifications based on designs and technologies developed by Howard Stark."

"Well the fact that she flies is cool...reminds me of the DeLorean." Beat. "Oh show them the pictures, I know you want to."

Coulson beams and pulls two photos out of somewhere. He's clearly very proud of the vehicle.

AL jerks her thumb at the second one. "D'you think the hover conversion the DeLorean has originally came from Tony Stark's father, Doc? At least in some universe?"

[flightattendantguy]

"Really?" Simon says, blinking. He and the others crowd around to get a look at the pictures. "Ooooh -- she's a really great-looking car!" he has to admit, grinning. "Mine's just an old yellow clunker. Love it just the same, though." He turns his grin on Dee. "What do you think, Dee? Think you'd like to race her one day?"

"Uh-huh!" Dee agrees, nodding enthusiastically.

"Easy there, speed demon," Doc says, ruffling her hair before turning to AL. "Judging by the similarity of design, I wouldn't be surprised. If we exist in the Avengers universe, I'd wager that Stark Technologies has a good hand in hover conversion."

"And you're probably being secretly monitored by S.H.I.E.L.D.," Simon adds, receiving a look. "What? Time travel technology? Fury would be all over that."